Finances FYI Presented by JPMorgan Chase
Dating someone new is exciting — you’re learning about their past, their goals, and their endearing quirks. While discussing finances might be lower down on the list of fun topics, it’s just as important as learning about their family. Delving into finances gives you a chance to look out for several red flags that could spell trouble if you continue the relationship.
Why Finances Are Important in a Relationship
No two people are exactly alike, and that includes their approach to finances. Having different opinions and goals about spending, savings, and handling debt does not automatically mean your date is waving financial red flags. It is crucial, however, to understand their approach to money as an individual and a member of a partnership.
Even if you keep separate accounts and don’t plan to intertwine your finances now (if ever), there are several things that a person’s attitude about finances can tell you about the rest of their personality:
- Is this person generally responsible? Respectful?
- Do they make plans?
- Are they honest?
- How do they define and view a partnership?
- What are their goals in life?
- Where do I fit in?
Having the answers to these questions will help you choose whether this person fits into your future.
The Biggest Financial Red Flags
While these problems don’t necessarily spell disaster, they are an indication that you need to dig further and have more conversations.
A Secretive Attitude About Money
Talking about finances is difficult for everyone, but it’s an important conversation. Unless you’re in a brand-new relationship, your partner should be open about their financial situation and goals. If they lie, hide, or misrepresent their finances, they could be avoiding a conversation that uncovers deeper financial concerns.
Making Others Feel Bad About Money
Whether you make more or less than your partner, they should never make you feel bad about your situation. In some cases, a partner who makes more money might hold it over your head and make you feel guilty for needing their “help.” In other cases, a partner who makes less could try to take advantage of your earnings or shame you for focusing too much on your paycheck. No matter the specifics, if a partner degrades or shames you because of money, that’s a big red flag.
Not Handling Personal Debt Responsibly
In 2022, more than three-quarters of American adults had some kind of debt. The existence of personal debt in this day and age is not a red flag, but the way someone handles it can be. If your partner doesn’t have a debt payoff plan, continues to add to their debt, or chooses large impulse purchases ahead of debt payments, then those behaviors might point to a bigger problem with financial management.
Not Caring About Finances
It’s one thing not to be too focused on every dollar, but if someone says they “don’t think about money” at all, that could be a red flag. Even adults who make a comfortable salary need to plan their spending, savings, and investments wisely. You need to know if their financial goals align with your own.
Living Beyond Their Means
An occasional splurge is meant to be just that — occasional. Consistently living beyond your means indicates a lack of responsibility, good judgment, and sound planning. If your partner frequently chooses to spend more than they earn, you may be in for a lifetime of debt and poor financial management.
Treating Workers Poorly
Does your date only tip well when others are looking but frequently orders the most expensive dish on the menu? How people choose to use their money says a lot about their motives. If flashy purchases are more important than compensating workers, this is a big red flag.
How to Protect Yourself
Knowing the potential financial red flags in a relationship will help you notice issues before they become big problems. There are even more proactive steps you can take to keep yourself financially safe in relationships.
- Seek clarity on your own financial goals and attitudes. Knowing your personal boundaries will make it easier to spot someone who doesn’t align.
- Take the initiative and discuss finances when you’re ready; don’t wait for the other person to bring up the conversation.
- Keep a separate bank account, no matter how serious the relationship feels. Adding an additional joint account down the road is easy if you get there.
- Work to understand and accept that financial abuse is no better than emotional or physical abuse. Many people find themselves in financially abusive relationships because they feel ashamed or don’t believe their suffering is “valid.” Understanding this fact now will help you stand firm in your convictions in the future.
If you’re considering a committed future with your partner, discussing finances and looking for these red flags is a crucial step.
Finances FYI is presented by JPMorgan Chase. JPMorgan Chase is making a $30 billion commitment over the next five years to address some of the largest drivers of the racial wealth divide.
